


Shattered Glass

by TopHatCat



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Episode: s02e10 Mirror Mirror, Friendship, McCoy is having problems, Mental Breakdown, Mind Meld, Mirror Universe, My Poor Bab, Starship Enterprise (Star Trek), Vulcan, Vulcan Mind Melds, crew - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 16:16:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14814674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TopHatCat/pseuds/TopHatCat
Summary: When the away team return from the Mirror Universe, Leonard McCoy begins to suffer from something that happened in the other universe... The Mirror Spock's mind meld.I wrote this in early 2016, the height of my Star Trek obsession xD Enjoy!





	1. Chapter 1

The moment the familiar transporter room materialized around him, Doctor Leonard McCoy’s mind snapped back to reality.  Behind him on the transporter pad, Scotty let out a laugh, and Uhura’s face broke into a wide smile upon the realization that they were home.  Kirk stepped off the pad, grinning at Spock, who stood waiting for them, relief obvious on his usually stoic face.

McCoy took a breath and followed his friends off the pad. His heart was still beating fast, but he was home now.  All was well.

Not an hour later, the doctor walked into his quarters after an inspection of sickbay.  To his enormous relief, it had been as clean and hospitable as usual.  His nurses were tending to anyone in need with a gentle and caring manner.  No torture weapons, no blood on the floors, no foul taste in the air and no Spock…

McCoy shivered, pulling off his blue shirt to reveal his black undershirt.  He walked into the bathroom and ran some hot water.  He had not told Jim about what had happened, or how the mirror Spock had suddenly known to send them back to their own universe.  The captain seemed to think Spock had figured out himself, as Vulcan’s were prone to do, and was happy to continue thinking that.  McCoy splashed some water on his face and dried off with a towel.  Jim could keep on believing his reasoning.  McCoy had no desire to recount what had happened.

He walked back into the bedroom.  There was a rather good book waiting on his shelf and he was looking forward to getting some rest.  He had nearly reached the bed when suddenly his head spun and he staggered. Placing his hand against the wall he steadied himself.  The feeling was gone as quickly as it had come, and he stood there for a moment, taking deep breaths.  Then it happened again; darkness pulsing in the corners of his eyes and his head pounding with such intensity he was driven to his knees.  He cried out in agony, clutching his head as the pain intensified, becoming unbearable.  The darkness drew closer, smothering him, the banging in his head grew too loud to take and the room swam before him.  Then the torment exploded in his head and everything went black.

_*To*Boldly*Go*_

The blackness faded to gray and then he was staring at the ceiling of his room.  Carefully, McCoy sat up and touched his head.  There was no trace of the pain, but his heart still beat with terror.  He gave himself a quick once over but could find nothing wrong.  Standing, he slowly went to the bed and sat down.  Staring down, he saw that his hands were shaking.  What had happened? What had caused this?  He didn’t feel sick, at least not with a virus.  He had been perfectly healthy the last time he had checked.  Was it something from the other universe?  Some disease that was only in that time, something bug that he didn’t recognize?  Perhaps if he could dig further into that possibility…

McCoy dropped his head into his hands.  He knew he was just distracting himself from his real fear. That something else was causing this.  The mind meld with the other Spock… Had it really been that bad?  It was past and gone. But then why he could see Spock lying there, still and quiet, the only sounds the monitor above their heads and McCoy’s own blood pumping through his veins.  And then suddenly the Vulcan’s eyes were open and he was sitting up and reaching for him-.

“Bones! Are you there?”

McCoy shuddered and was suddenly back in his room.  The intercom on his wall blinked and Kirk’s voice came through again.

“Bones, are you in your room?”

McCoy got to his feet and went to the wall.  Pressing the button he answered. “I’m here, Jim.”

“What were you doing?  I’ve tried your room twice and sickbay three times…”

“I-I was resting,” McCoy lied.  He rubbed his eyes. “What is it?”

“I was wondering if you could give the away team a check-up,” Kirk said. “Uhura, Scotty and yourself.”

“What about you?”

“I’ve got the business with the Halkans to deal with,” Kirk replied.  “I’ll have my check-up later.  I just want to make sure we’re all healthy after that whole alternate reality nonsense.”

“Nonsense… Right,” McCoy said. “I’ll get right on it.”

“Bones, are you alright?”

McCoy could hear the concern in his friend’s voice. “I’m just tired, Jim.”

“I can have another doctor do the examination.”

“No need,” McCoy said, “I can do it just fine.  McCoy out.”

The doctor leaned against the wall for a moment longer, and then he changed into his medical shirt and left the room.

_*To*Boldly*Go*_

Hours later, McCoy finished the last report and leaned back in his chair. Scotty and Uhura were no less healthy for all the trouble and McCoy doubted that Kirk was any different.  The doctor had given himself a complete examination as well and found nothing.  He had admittedly spent quite a bit more time on the tests than were nessecary, but he had been begging the computers to show something that could explain this. 

But it wasn’t physical at all.  No, something was in his head and it was apparent to McCoy that none of other three had suffered anything like this.  This was about what had happened to him personally.  The doctor tipped his head back.  The plain white ceiling was blank, but slowly images began spiraling into shape.  Faces swam in the whiteness, face too blurry to see, yet their eyes bored into him and the white was getter brighter and brighter…

“Doctor?”

McCoy sat up with a jerk.  Nurse Chapel stood in the doorway.  “Doctor?  I’ve got reports from some lab tests…”

McCoy shook his head and straightened himself.  “Yes, I’ll take them.”

Chapel handed the microtapes over, studying him intently.  McCoy avoided her gaze. “Don’t you have some work to do?”

“Of course,” Chapel said, but he felt her eyes on him until she left the office and the doors closed.  McCoy rubbed his face to wake himself up and after filing away the reports, stood and left sickbay.

_*To*Boldly*Go*_

“End transmission.”

Kirk leaned back in his chair and sighed.  Negations with the Halkans were going well. Though they had not agreed to the mining of the dilithium crystals, their leader had said the council was not saying no.  Kirk rubbed his eyes. He was tired, but had agreed to a dinner on the Halkan planet for that night.  These negotiations were vital to the Federation.

The lift doors wooshed open and Kirk turned to see McCoy walk onto the bridge.  Glad for a distraction, Kirk smiled at his friend.  “How are you, Bones?”

“Good, good,” the doctor said, seeming a little distracted.  He kept glancing around the bridge, like he was looking for something.  “Spock’s not here?”

“He said he was going to do a little mediation,” Kirk said. “Did you want to see him? He should be back soon.”

“No, I don’t want to see him,” McCoy said, a little more rushed than Kirk thought was normal.

“Just come up for a visit?” Kirk said, looking at the PADD in the doctor’s hands.  McCoy looked down as though he had forgotten why he had come. 

“Oh, no, here are the examination results,” he said, and Kirk took the PADD.  “Everyone checks out fine, and from what I’m observing, you will too.”

“Good,” Kirk said, scanning the results.  “I didn’t want to bring any odd little bugs back with us.  That’d be a load of trouble for you and Spock.”  The captain looked up. “Speaking of Spock…”

McCoy turned toward the lift as the doors opened and Spock walked out.  He came to stand next to Kirk’s chair.

“Are the negations going smoothly, Captain?” He asked. “May I be of any assistance?”

Kirk shook his head. “No, but thank you.  Everything’s going well.”

“The Halkans are beginning to see we are not a violent federation like they had originally feared,” Spock said.  “You’re negation skills are admirable.”

As Spock talked, Kirk glanced over and saw McCoy had positioned himself on the opposite side of the chair as Spock, and he was griping the PADD with white knuckles.

“Captain?”

Kirk turned back to Spock. “Ah, yes. Thank you.  I’ve been invited down to dinner tonight so you’ll have command of the ship.”

“Very well,” Spock said.  He looked over at McCoy.  “Has the away team been passed as healthy?”

McCoy jumped. “Y-yes they have.  Why would you care about that?”

“I simply was wondering if they are well enough to go back on duty,” Spock replied, going to his station.

McCoy frowned. “They are quite well enough.  Quite well…” He trailed off.

“Something the matter, Bones?” Kirk asked.  “What’s up?”

“I’m just thinking about some tests I want to run,” the doctor answered.  “It’s nothing.”

“Perhaps I could be of help with that?” Spock asked, turning in his chair.

Kirk looked over the Vulcan.  He saw in Spock’s eyes that he too was wondering about McCoy’s odd demeanor.  Kirk glanced back at the doctor to hear his answer. 

To his astonishment, McCoy’s face was flushed and he had stiffened like he was under attack.  “I don’t need your help!” he said.  “If I wanted your help I would ask for it!”

Kirk started to rise from his chair. “Bones!”

McCoy backed toward the lift.  “Just stay away, Spock!” the doctor said, and then turned and left the bridge.  The doors closed behind him and Kirk stared at them in astonishment.

He turned back to see the entire bridge crew looking as puzzled as he felt.

“What was that?” Uhura asked quietly, looking concerned.

“I don’t know…” Kirk sat down slowly.  Worry fluttered in his chest. He had never seen his friend like that, so full of anger at a friend…. And there had been more….   Was it fear that he had read in the doctor’s eyes?  He glanced at Spock, who was looking after the McCoy.  “I’d better go have a talk with him.”

He stood, but then Uhura said, “The Halkan leader is contacting you, Captain.”

Kirk sat back down.  He wished he could go after McCoy, but it would have to wait.

“On screen.”

_*To*Boldly*Go*_

McCoy slumped against the lift wall, closing his eyes.  He uncurled his fingers from the PADD.  He had been holding it so tightly the edges left deep grooves in his skin.  The bridge had seemed so hot, but now he was shaking.

What was wrong with him?

Simply seeing Spock on the bridge had launched him back to the other universe, leaving him stiff with fear.  He had not meant to be so mean, but the words had come out of his mouth on their own accord, like he was trying to shield him from something. Something dark.  But that wasn’t who Spock was.  Spock may not embrace his emotions, but he was a kind as the rest of them, more than some.

“G deck,” He muttered.  He had some tests running in the lab and he needed to get his mind off Spock.


	2. Chapter 2

“Mr. Spock.”

Spock looked up.  Uhura was leaning over, holding out a microtape.  “These came in from Starfleet.  The files you wanted on the Galgon flu.”

Spock nodded.  He slid the tape into his computer.  He and Doctor McCoy had been working on a cure for the Galgon flu ever since it had spread across two planets in a nearby system.  In was not fatal for the inhabitants of the planets, but the doctor had been concerned it could be dangerous to other races in the surrounding galaxies.  Quickly reading the content of the file, Spock was satisfied this would help him in his tests.  He stood from his station.

Captain Kirk was gone, getting ready for the Halkan dinner.  “Mr. Sulu,” the Vulcan said. “You have the bridge.  If you require me, I will be in the biochemistry lab.”

Sulu nodded and Spock left the bridge.

_*To*Boldly*Go*_

McCoy heard the door open behind him but didn’t look up.  Chapel must be back.  The doctor was deeply immersed in transferring a liquid from one test tube to another.  He set them down, careful not to spill the orange liquid.

 “Hand me that empty tube, will you, Christine?” he said, holding out his hand.

“Here, Doctor.”  He felt the tube rest in his palm. “Though I am hardly Miss Chapel.”

McCoy turned so fast the tube slipped from his fingers, shattering as it hit the floor.  “Spock.”  His heartbeat quickened.

“I did not know I would startle you,” the Vulcan said.

McCoy felt like his lungs were contracting.  He could barely breathe and he thought his heart would burst.  What was so frightening?

“Lieutenant Uhura received the Galgon flu files we requested,” Spock was saying.

McCoy’s vocal cords wouldn’t work.  He had spoken to Spock a hundred times, a thousand times, yet now the doctor could hardly think for being so close to him.  His vision blurred and he could again see that bearded face, so similar yet beyond strange.  He was pushed back against the wall, unable to move or break free of that iron grip.  Spock reached out toward him and…

“Doctor?”

McCoy blinked and saw Spock was holding out a green microtape.  He reached out with a shaking hand and took it.  He managed to spit out a “Thanks,” then turned and stared at the table.  Chills ran up and down his spine and he almost turned around again, just so his back wouldn’t be to Spock, but he forced himself to stay put and slide the tape into the computer.

_Just breathe, just focus on the task at hand.  Ignore the pounding in your head, the things you’ve seen, the things he put in your head…_

_*To*Boldly*Go*_

Spock inserted the microtape into his computer and cast a surreptitious glance back at McCoy. Shock flashed through the Vulcan. 

McCoy’s hands were shaking and his shoulders were hunched, like warding off a blow.  Spock narrowed his eyebrows.  He did not know what had caused the doctor to become like this, and he doubted he would get an answer.  McCoy seemed to be keeping his distant, even consciously avoiding Spock.  The Vulcan turned his eyes back to the computer, but his mind was not on the project at hand.

The lab doors wooshed open and Nurse Chapel walked in. “I’ve got the samples I’ve been working on,” she said.  “I just finished.”

“It’s about time,” McCoy snapped, taking the tape Chapel held out.  He jerked his head to the broken test tube.  “Clean that up.”

Chapel nodded. “Yes, Doctor.”

For the second time, Spock was extremely surprised.  Chapel was not a woman to take any sort of rudeness.  Even from her superiors.  But here she was, sweeping up the glass quietly without even a glare at McCoy.  The doctor seemed unaware of her, having gone back to his work.  His hands were still trembling slightly.

Chapel finished cleaning up the mess and left the lab.  Spock hurriedly organized his table and followed.  He caught up with the nurse at the turbo lift.

“Miss Chapel.”

Chapel turned. “Mr. Spock,” she acknowledged with a small smile.

“Nurse, there are some questions I would like the answers too,” said Spock as the lift started to move.

“About Doctor McCoy?” Chapel shook her head. “I know as much as you, Mr. Spock.”

“His demeanor has changed dramatically,” Spock said.  “It is beyond human normality.”

“He’s become so closed off,” Chapel said.  “He doesn’t talk to me at all except when it’s necessary.  I’m so worried for him.  He has this look in his eyes...”

“Fear?” suggested Spock, and Chapel nodded slowly.

“Yes.  Yes that’s it.”

“When did this start?” Spock asked.

“This morning,” Chapel said. “I noticed when he was running the tests from the away team.”  She looked up at Spock. “You don’t think-?”

Spock stopped the lift.  “I cannot be sure of anything.  But from what I have accumulated, the other universe may very have well caused this.”

Chapel clasped her hands. “The whole time they were gone I had this horrible feeling…  And now something is wrong here.  It’s awful!”  Tears welled in her eyes and she turned her face away.

Spock stood there, unsure what to do.  It was not in his nature to offer comfort, but to just stand and watch her cry was not right.  Hesitantly he reached out and gently touched her shoulder.  She placed her hand over his and wiped away her tears.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Spock,” she said.

“It’s only human,” Spock said.

Chapel composed herself. “Yes, but now we have to help the doctor, not cry over him.”

Spock couldn’t help but let a bit of pride for this woman fill him.  “Correct.  Captain Kirk is busy with the Halkans and should not be distracted from these negotiations by anything.  We are the next closest friends the doctor has.  However, he does not seem to find me a comrade at the moment.   If you will try to talk with him, I will learn as much as I can from the captain about the mirror world without letting him know about McCoy’s plight.”

“He is not very open at the moment, but I will try my best,” Chapel said determinedly.

Spock started the lift going again.  “We will both try our best.”

_*To*Boldly*Go*_

Kirk sighed and lay back on his bed.  The sigh was a content one.  The Halkan dinner had gone very well and tasted very good.  Kirk rolled over on his stomach and faced his monitor.   “Kirk to Mr. Spock.”

Uhura’s face came up. “Mr. Spock has just left the bridge, Captain.”

“Oh?” said Kirk.  “Do you know where’s he heading?”

“I do not,” Uhura replied. “Sorry, sir.”

“That’s alright,” Kirk said.  He switched off the monitor and folded his hands behind his head.  Closing his eyes, he had just started drifting off when there was a buzz at the door.

“Come in,” he called.  The doors slid back and Spock entered.

“Am I disturbing you, Captain?”

Kirk sat up.  “Not at all, Mr. Spock.  In fact, I was just looking for you.”

“Indeed,” said Spock. “For what reason?”

“Have a seat,” Kirk said, and Spock did.  “I just wanted to update you on the Halkans.”  The captain stood and went to a cabinet.  He pulled out a bottle and two glasses.  “Dinner went very well. I think we’re closer to coming to an agreement than ever.”  He grinned and took a sip of his drink. “And the food was very good.”  He held out a glass but Spock shook his head. “Well, anyway, I have the high hopes up making a deal before the week is out.”

“Federation headquarters with be extremely pleased,” Spock said.  He crossed his legs and clasped his hands around his knee.  Kirk sat down in a chair opposite. “Alright, what’s eating you, Spock?”

Spock tilted his head. “Eating me, Captain?”

Kirk laughed. “What are you thinking about?”

Spock frowned. “This mirror world you visited.  From what I saw of your counterparts, it is a much darker universe than our own.”

Kirk swirled his drink in his glass. “You don’t know the half of it, Spock.  Torture, threats, betrayal.  All part of a normal day on a starship there, and probably everywhere else too.”

“Things that could drive any man unaccustomed to such brutality to madness?” Spock asked.

 Kirk shrugged. “I suppose some of it could.  But we were there hardly long to enough to scratch the surface of the horrors, thank goodness.” He poured another drink.  “Why so curious?”

“Any alternate timeline is of some interest,” Spock answered.  “So none of you experienced anything overly horrible?”

Kirk leaned forward and rested his elbows in his knees. “No…  I looked us up though, Spock.  I looked us all up.  Our histories… splattered with blood and treachery… I can’t imagine living that life.”

“I am glad we are here, in this universe, Captain,” said Spock, rising to his feet.

Kirk nodded firmly. “So am I.  The chills will wear off soon.  When I went to see Bones for my check-up after the dinner he was as skittish as mouse.”  The captain set down his glass and stood, stretching his arms. “Quickest examination I’ve ever had.”

Spock went to the door.  “Goodnight, Jim.”

“Night, Spock.”

_*To*Boldly*Go*_

Chapel walked down the corridor, trying to think of what she would say to Doctor McCoy.  Her questions had been evaded, received a sharp comeback, or ignored entirely when she had tried to talk to him in sickbay last night.  She dared to hope he would be more forthcoming this morning.

She reached the door to the doctor’s room and hesitated.  Then, gathering her courage, she buzzed to alert whoever was inside.

For a few moments nothing happened and she tried again.  She was about to give up when the doors slid back to reveal McCoy.  He was dressed in his black undershirt and blue pajama bottoms, and Chapel was alarmed at the dark circles under his eyes.

“What is it, nurse?” the doctor said in a drowsy tone.

“I-I was wondering if I could have a talk with you,” Chapel stuttered.

McCoy rubbed his eyes. “A talk?”

Chapel nodded. “I’m worried about you, Doctor.  I want to help.”

“Oh...” McCoy turned away and Chapel slowly followed him into the room. “I don’t need any help.  Help with what?”

“Anything,” Chapel said, looking around.  The room was a mess. “You’ve been acting… not like yourself.  You look like you haven’t slept a wink all night.”

“I haven’t,” McCoy admitted, running a comb through his hair. “Couldn’t fall asleep, that’s all.  Nothing a few pills won’t cure.”

“It’s more than that and you know it,” Chapel said, plowing right into the subject.  “It has something to do with that alternate world you were plunged into.”

“It has nothing to do with that,” McCoy said, picking up his shirt. Chapel strode across the room and grabbed his wrist.

“Look!  Your hands are shaking!  You’re not well!”

“Let go of me!” McCoy broke free of her grasp, shoving her away so she stumbled back into the wall. “Get out!  Get out and don’t talk to me again! Nothing happened over there!  Nothing, do you understand?”

Chapel stared at him for a second longer and then turned and hurried out of the room.  The second she was gone and the door slid shut behind her, McCoy felt awful.  He moaned and sank down onto the bed.

“What am I doing?” he groaned.  “What the hell is wrong with me?  What can I do to get this sickness out of my head?”

_*To*Boldly*Go*_

“Number one thing, we’re certain of,” Chapel said, “it’s because of the mirror world.”

“From what the captain says, nothing of such terror to inflict mental harm happened while they were there,” Spock said. “Indeed, even my alternate self seemed willing to become noble in the end.”

Chapel ran a hand through her hair.  They were in sickbay, alone.  McCoy had not shown his face around either of them for almost a week.  Chapel had tried numerous times to talk with him again, but he had been as forthcoming as a brick wall.

“He’s wasting away,” Chapel said. 

Spock leaned against a table.  “If he would only talk to us…”

The sickbay doors opened and both stood up straight.  Captain Kirk walked in and crossed his arms, looking from one to the other. “Alright you two. What’s the secret?”

“No secret, Captain,” Spock said.

“You two have been up to something for a week,” Kirk said.

“We didn’t want to interrupt the negotiations with the Halkans,” Chapel said.

“Well, a deal has been set and signed so let’s hear it.”  Kirk looked expectantly at them.

“It’s Doctor McCoy,” Spock said. “His odd behavior.  We think he may have some sort of illness.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” Kirk said, anger spicing his tone.

“The negotiations were critical,” Spock said.

“He’s my friend,” Kirk replied.

Chapel stepped forward. “We’re sorry, but help us now.  We are getting nowhere.”

Kirk still seemed displeased when he said, “I’ve noticed Bones’ strange behavior but have been too busy to think about it. What have you figured out?”

Spock folded his arms.  “We believe it has to do with the mirror world.”

“But it only affected him,” Chapel put it.  “What happened over there?”

Kirk shook his head.  “We weren’t always together, but nothing happened.  He was in sickbay, said there were weapons of torture, but no one ever did anything.  The worst was Chekov in the agony booth…” The captain trailed off and then shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“Then we are still stuck,” Spock said.

“I’ll try to talk with him,” Kirk said. “Maybe I’ll be able to find something out.”

“A good idea,” Spock said. “Considering our limited options.”

Kirk nodded and left sickbay.  Chapel sighed.  “I do hope he can get the doctor talking…”

“As do I,” said Spock quietly.

_*To*Boldly*Go*_

The pictures on his walls blurred, coming in and out of focus.  The room was painted in neon colors that McCoy was sure weren’t usually there. They writhed in his vision like living things, taking forms of strange creatures that made his head hurt. But when he closed his eyes they were still there, like brands on the inside of his eyelids.

The door buzzed, making him jump.  He looked over but made no move to get up.

“Bones? It’s Jim.”

McCoy turned his head back to look at the ceiling again as Kirk knocked on the door.

“Bones, I know you’re in there.  Open up.”

The doctor sighed and closed his eyes.  Maybe he could just let Jim in.  Maybe a talk would help him, take his mind from the pain.  Perhaps it would make him feel better, because the pain was with him every moment now, in his head, beating against the inside of his skull.

“Bones! Open up right now!”

The frustration and concern in the captain’s voice was apparent.  McCoy shut his eyes tightly, holding his aching head.  There was nothing Jim could do.

The captain stopped calling and his voice sank to a murmur as another voice joined his outside the door.  McCoy recognized Spock’s low tones and he hugged the pillow, his entire body screaming for the Vulcan to stay away.

The voices faded away and the quiet returned, but there was no peace in the room.  McCoy rolled over and put the pillow over his head.  There was nothing anyone could do.


	3. Chapter 3

Kirk glanced up from the book he was reading.  Spock was sitting in a nearby chair, hands folded, staring at nothing.  The Vulcan had lapsed into silence well over an hour ago, after a short, fruitless conversation.  Kirk inwardly sighed and closed the book.  Setting it on the shelf, he swung his legs off the bed and stood up.  He had just sat down at his desk when the door buzzed.

Spock slowly looked up as Kirk called, “come in.”

Chapel slipped in, face flushed. “Captain, Mr. Spock.  Doctor McCoy hasn’t checked in on sickbay at all this morning.”

“That’s not surprising,” Spock said. “Considering how he didn’t even answer his door last night.”

Chapel shook her head. “No.  Doctor McCoy always checks in on sickbay.  Always.  In all the years I’ve known him, there hasn’t been a single day he’s on this ship that he has not checked in on us.”

Kirk stood up.  “We’d better go to his room.”

As the three hurried down the halls, Kirk’s heart began to race.  His footsteps became faster and faster until he was running to his friend’s room.  The door was locked.

“Bones!  Bones, let us in!” The captain said. “That’s an order, Doctor!”

There was no answer, and Kirk looked at Spock.  The Vulcan stepped forward and punched the door.  He hit it again and where his fist made contact, the material bent slightly.  Spock dug his fingers in and, gritting his teeth, slowly forced the door open.

Kirk pushed his way past the Vulcan.  Chapel flipped the lights and the captain looked around.

“Oh, Bones…” he said, moving to the bed.

McCoy was sprawled out on his stomach, dressed in his undershirt and pajama pants.  His eyes were closed and Kirk gently rolled him over onto his back.  The doctor’s face was pale and drawn and his chest hardly moved with his breathing.

“Bones.”  Kirk shook McCoy gently.  “Bones,” he repeated, shaking the doctor again, harder this time.

“You can’t wake him like that, Captain,” Spock said.  The Vulcan bent and picked something up from the floor.  Chapel took the small bottle and her lips settled into a thin line.  “Empty.”

“What is it?” Kirk asked, panic washing over him.

“Sleeping pills,” Chapel answered.  “He said he wasn’t sleeping well.”

“It does not mean he took the whole bottle,” Spock said, and Kirk heard the nervousness in the Vulcan’s tone.

Chapel’s eyes were brimming with tears. “I was there when he got it from sickbay last night… It was full.”  The nurse’s voice was quivering and she clutched the bottle with a shaking hand.  Kirk reached over and gripped her arm comfortingly.

“What could drive him to such extremes?” Chapel asked, looking down at McCoy.

Kirk shook his head. “I wish I knew…”

Spock clasped his hands behind his back.  “There is a way to find out.”

Both Kirk and Chapel glanced at him.  “How?” asked Kirk.

Spock moved forward and sat on the bed beside McCoy.  “A mind meld.  Perhaps I can see what is causing the doctor this distress.”

Kirk nodded firmly. “Do it.”  He stood and stepped back from the bed to stand by Chapel.

Spock reached forward and placed his hands gently on either side of McCoy’s head.  The Vulcan’s eyes closed and he sat for a moment in silence.  Kirk and Chapel exchanged glances.

Suddenly Spock’ s eyes flew open.  “It hurts,” he whispered, “Like a brand in my mind.  I know what this is. I know who-.”  The Vulcan shuddered and McCoy did the same, his mouth a pain-filled grimace.  “Horrors…,” Spock said, “Terrible things.  Such terrible things…”

Now McCoy moaned and his eyelids flickered.  The two muttered the same words, their minds linked together.

“Why?  Why would you do such things? I can’t believe… I can’t take it anymore… I can feel it, can feel you in my mind.”  Both men gasped.  “I want to help you.  I want to- no, what are you doing? Stop.  Get back!   Get away from me!  NO!”

Spock’s face was white as snow, and spasms jolted through McCoy’s body.  They both continued shouting, eyes wide, staring at something neither Kirk nor Chapel could see.

“Spock!” Kirk said, “Spock, snap out of it!”

The Vulcan didn’t react to him and the captain grabbed Spock’s shoulders, forcefully yanking him back to the floor. 

Kirk bent over the Vulcan. “Spock.  Are you alright?”

Spock slowly lifted his head. “I am, Captain.”

Kirk pulled Spock to his feet.  Chapel was leaning over McCoy, who had lapsed back into silence.  “What was that, Spock?” the captain asked.  “You acted like you were being attacked.”

“We were,” Sock answered, sitting in a chair.  “That is, it was a memory of the doctor being attacked.”

Kirk sat down and leaned forward. “Attacked?  When? By whom?”

“It was me, Captain,” Spock said. “Or rather, the mirror universe Spock.”

“What?” asked Kirk, shocked.

Spock leaned back.  “From what I can understand, the mirror Spock initiated a mind meld with Doctor McCoy in order to learn about you and the rest of the away team.”

Kirk rested his elbows on his knees and glanced over at McCoy. “That’s how he knew to send us back…  He read our history in Bones’ mind.”

Spock nodded. “Indeed.  But that is not sufficient to cause the pain the doctor is feeling.”

Kirk frowned at him. “Then what is?”

“When the mirror Spock connected minds with the doctor,” Spock said, “He went too far.  He did not simply explore the doctor’s mind; he searched it thoroughly, essentially ripping it apart to find all the facts.  I assume it’s because he did not know who you were at the time and cared little for the doctor or any of the team.”

“It was only after the mind meld that he realized we weren’t bad after all…  Just lost and confused…” Kirk rose and paced the room.  “What about the terrible things you were talking about?”

“When two minds connect, neither can have complete dominance,” Spock answered.  “The doctor no doubt saw into my counterpart’s mind, experiencing the horrors of the Empire and its rule.”

Kirk ran a hand over his eyes.  “What can we do, Spock?  How can we help him?”

Spock didn’t answer and Kirk sat down on the bed, touching McCoy’s shoulder gently.  The doctor’s face was drawn into an image of pain.  “Nurse? Can you do anything to give him peace?”

“I can try, Captain,” Chapel said. “I think it best to move him to sickbay.”

Just then Uhura’s voice came over the intercom. “Bridge to Captain Kirk.”

Kirk went to the wall. “Kirk here.”

“A call from the Halkan leader.”

“I’ll be right there.” Kirk turned to Chapel. “I must leave Bones in your very capable hands.  Spock?”

“I will be there in a moment, Captain,” Spock said. 

Kirk nodded and left the room.  In his chair, Spock frowned very slightly, his brain working hard.

_*To*Boldly*Go*_

A few hours later Kirk made his way too sickbay.  Spock had never reported to the bridge, but Kirk had not questioned it. If the Vulcan was working on a way to save Bones, then let him have all the time he needed. 

The captain entered sickbay and walked into the back room.  McCoy was lying on a bed, sleeping peacefully.  Kirk took a chair and sat it beside the bed as Chapel walked in from her office.

“Hello, Captain,” she said, looking at the monitor on the wall above McCoy’s head.

“How is he?” Kirk asked.

“Better.”  Chapel made a note on the PADD in her hand.  “But there’s really nothing I can do but help him sleep well.”

“That’s enough for now,” Kirk said. “He needs a good rest.  Thank you.”

Chapel nodded. “I’m running a few tests now.  Maybe I can figure out something to help him.”  She turned and went back into her office and Kirk sat backwards on the chair, folding his arms on the back rest.  He had only been there a few minutes when McCoy’s eyelids fluttered and he looked around.

“S-sickbay?”

Kirk sat up straight.  “Bones.  How do you feel?

“Not too bad.”  The doctor lifted his head. “What happened? Why am I here?”

“Relax,” said Kirk, “In your condition, this is the best place for you.”

McCoy turned his head to look at the captain. “My condition?”

“Don’t play innocent, Bones,” Kirk said. “We’ve figured out what happened to you.”

McCoy looked away.  “Oh?  How?”

“Spock,” Kirk said, and McCoy noticeably flinched at the name.  “He did a mind meld and saw what happened in the mirror universe.”

“He did what?” McCoy sat up, staring at Kirk. “He did a-, you let him do-, you let him-!”

“Calm down, Bones!” Kirk stood, firmly gripping the doctor’s shoulder. “It’s our Spock!  He’s as worried about you as everyone else, and he’s trying to help.”

McCoy lowered his eyes. “I know, Jim.  I know, but I can’t help it.  I can’t stop thinking about what it felt like to have him force his way into my mind, rip my insides to shreds...”  He clenched his hands into fists. “I can’t stop, dammit!”

Kirk didn’t know what to say.  His heart cried with pity for his friend, but he did not know what to do.

The sickbay doors slid open and Spock walked in, causing McCoy to draw back, face pale.

“So damn stupid,” the doctor muttered, chastising himself.  But he couldn’t help but feel terror.

“Spock,” Kirk said, stepping forward.

“I believe I may have found an answer,” Spock said.  “If I could talk with you?”

Kirk turned to McCoy. “Can we use your office, Bones?” he asked.

“What?” McCoy tore his gaze from Spock to the captain. “Yeah, go ahead.”

Kirk nodded and gripped the doctor’s arm reassuringly for a moment.  Then he and Spock crossed the room to the office.  At the door Kirk glanced back.  McCoy had turned his back to them and was huddled under the blankets.

In the office Spock sat down and Kirk perched on the edge of the desk.  “What is your solution, Spock?”

“I did not say I had a solution,” Spock replied, “I said I had an answer.”

“Well then, let’s hear your answer,” Kirk prompted.

Spock leaned back.  “The mind is a delicate thing.  Nurse Chapel or even a doctor of McCoy’s experience could not repair the damage of such intensity.”

“You’re making this seem bleaker by the second,” Kirk said, furrowing his brow.  “Is there a point to this?”

 “Yes.  I believe only one person has the power and knowledge to undo it.”

“I don’t follow,” Kirk said. “Who?  A scientist? A doctor?”

“No,” said Spock, “The one who initiated the damage in the first place.”

Kirk looked at the Vulcan for a moment. “You don’t mean…?”

Spock nodded.  “Indeed.  My counterpart in the mirror universe.”

Kirk stood and rubbed his eyes. “Spock… You know we can’t.  We can’t get back to the mirror universe, its impossible! It was an accident that got us there and a tremendous amount of luck that brought us back last time.”

“I do not think it was luck,” Spock said. “It was Mr. Scott’s ingenuity.”

“And you think we can do it again?” Kirk asked. He threw up his hands. “How?  The last time Scotty said it was a chance in a million the return trip worked.”

“The last time, he did not have me to help in,” said Spock.

Kirk glanced at him. “Even so…”  He trailed off, shaking his head.  Walking to the door he looked across the room at McCoy.  Turning back to Spock he sighed. “But it’s our only choice, isn’t it?”

Spock stood and came to stand at the captain’s side.  “If we want to save Doctor McCoy, yes.”

Kirk leaned against the doorframe for a moment, thinking.  Then he nodded. “Alright, get Scotty.  Our meeting takes place in fifteen minutes.”

_*To*Boldly*Go*_

“Duplicate the exact conditions as the ion storm that took us to the mirror universe last time?” Scotty shook his head in disbelief. “That’s a tall order, Cap’n.”

“We don’t have a choice,” Kirk said.  “This is our only idea.”

Scotty sighed, pacing. “Even if I did manage to artificially create a storm, we’d need the same storm in the mirror universe.  That’s what caused the switch in the first place.”

“I believe I can account for that,” Spock said, “by heightening certain aspects in our universe.”

Scotty shook his head again and sat down.  “I daren’t hope to believe this will work.”

“Just try, Scotty,” Kirk said.  “Please.”

“O’ course,” Scotty said. “I’ll give it my best.”

  _*To*Boldly*Go*_

Kirk soon realized Scotty was giving the project more than his best; he was giving it his everything.  The engineer spent twenty hours straight working out the calculations with Spock until Kirk insisted he rest.

“I need a fully functional engineer,” the captain said when Scotty tried to argue, “Not a half dead one.”

Scotty grudgingly agreed to take a nap and eat some sandwiches before returning to work.  Spock however, did not stop with his work except to eat a meager meal of assorted fruits at breakfast time.

Kirk was also very adamant about keeping the work a secret from McCoy.  “It’s not going to make him any better if we tell him we’re trying to get back to the other universe.”

“The doctor is going to wonder what is happenin’,” Scotty said.

“We will have to tell him at some point,” Spock added.

“Yes,” Kirk agreed, “but let’s wait as long as we can, eh, Mr. Spock?”


	4. Chapter 4

“Alright, Jim, what’s going on?”

Kirk looked up from the computer monitor.  “Hi, Bones.  What do you mean?”

“Don’t give me that,” McCoy said, coming over to the table.  “I’m not blind; I can see that you’re up to something.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be in sickbay?” Kirk asked, standing. “Chapel will be wondering where you escaped too.”

“You never come to sickbay,” McCoy said bluntly. “I have to hunt you down here in this lounge to find out what’s up.”

“Nothing’s up,” Kirk said.  He wished his friend hadn’t come.  Spock and Scotty were due for an update any moment.  The report would be on whether they could actually make the trip work or not, and the captain didn’t want Bones to be here when the answer came.  “It’s just ship’s business.”

McCoy sat down in a chair. “Do you think I’m a fool, Jim?”

Kirk turned back and looked at his friend, sitting stiffly with arms crossed, eyebrows pulled together in frustration.  Though he still looked pale and fatigued, the look in the doctor’s eye was sharp as he waited for an answer.  No, Kirk did not think his friend a fool.  The captain sat down across from McCoy.

“You’ll have to know eventually, so I may as well tell you now.” Kirk clasped his hands around his knee.  “We’re working on a way to help you.”

“I guessed that,” McCoy said.  “But you won’t tell me a thing, so I’m presuming it’s something I’m not going to like.”

“Not one bit,” Kirk answered.  As quickly and delicately as he could, the captain laid out Spock’s plan of returning to the other universe and acquiring the other Spock’s help.

“You’re right,” McCoy said, when the captain finished. “I don’t like it.  Not a bit.”

Just then the lounge doors wooshed open and Spock and Scotty entered.  Kirk stood.  “You should get back to sickbay, Bones.”

“No,” said McCoy, “I think I’d better stay.”

“You have told the doctor?” Spock asked Kirk.

McCoy answered for the captain.  “Yes, yes he has.”

Kirk looked back at McCoy and saw his painful struggle to remain calm.  He sat back down beside the doctor. “Well, is it possible?  Can we get to the other universe?”

Scotty let out a puff of air and settled himself into a chair.  “Well…. We’ve got it all laid out and theoretically…”

“Yes or no, Mr. Scott,” Kirk said, a little more sharply than he intended.

Scotty nodded slowly. “Yes, Captain. A very hesitant yes.”

“Precision is mandatory,” Spock said.  “There is no room for mistakes.  One small miscalculation could jeopardize the away team.”

“Aye,” Scotty agreed. “We’ll need expert hands at the transporter controls.  I’m assignin’ Mr. Kyle to that duty.”

“Why not you?” Kirk asked.

“I’m plannin’ on coming with ye, Captain,” Scotty answered.

“Scotty, it’s a big risk,” Kirk said.

“I know, sir,” the engineer. “But who’s to set ye up to get home once ye’re there?”

“I will be going, of course,” Spock said.

“I still need to go,” Scotty countered.  “No offence, Mr. Spock, but I know the Enterprise’s inner workin’s better than ye do.”

“I agree,” Spock said.  “However, I still wish to go.”

“I can’t ask you to go, either of you,” Kirk said.

“Now wait a damn minute,” McCoy said, leaning forward.  “Don’t forget that’s it’s my life you three are risking yours for.  And I don’t want that.”

Kirk turned to him. “Bones, we’ve already decided.”

“And what if I decide not to go?” asked the doctor.

“Doctor McCoy,” Scotty said, “We want to help ye.”

“I can’t have you risking yourselves on my account,” McCoy said.  “Going back to that place…. It’s dangerous even if we’re not torn apart by the transporter.  The things they could do to us if we were caught…”

Kirk heard the fear building in McCoy’s voice and the doctor was trembling, his gaze now locked on Spock.  

“Bones,” Kirk said, “look at me.  Bones.”

McCoy turned and stared at him, his eyes blinded with fear.  Kirk reached over and gripped his arm. “This is why we want to help you,” the captain said. “Because we can’t stand to see you suffering like this.”

McCoy shook his head. “I don’t want you to go through anything....  I couldn’t take it.”

The doors opened and Chapel hurried in. “Doctor!  You had me so worried!  I had no idea where you had gone!”

“I’m just about to bring him back to you, Nurse,” Kirk said, helping McCoy to his feet.  “When I return I want to know when we can leave.”

Spock and Scotty nodded.  “Aye, sir,” Scotty answered.

When they are gone, Scotty turned to Spock. “Sir, any risks will be well worth it if this works out.”

“Indeed, Mr. Scott,” the Vulcan agreed, going to the table monitor.  “Now let’s figure out how soon we can leave.”

_*To*Boldly*Go*_

“We can step on the transporter pad in fifteen minutes, Captain,” said Scotty, his voice filling the office.

“Alright,” Kirk said into the intercom.  “We’ll be there.”  He switched the com off and looked over at McCoy, who was sitting at his desk organizing medical tapes.  He had been absentmindedly going through the same ten tapes for the past quarter of an hour.  Kirk seated himself on the edge of the desk.

“Ready, Doctor?”

McCoy looked up.  “No.  But that’s not acceptable right now, is it?”

Kirk flashed him a small smile.  “Not right now.”

Chapel came into the office. “Good luck,” she said, her hands clasped in front of her.  “I…. I hope you have a safe journey.”

“Thank you, Christine,” McCoy said softly, touching her shoulder.  She patted his hand and struggled to smile.  Only after the two men left the room did she sit down and wipe away the tears.

_*To*Boldly*Go*_

Scotty was making the last adjustments to the transporter and briefing Lieutenant Kyle when they arrived. 

“All ready for us, Cap’n,” he said.  Kirk nodded and he and McCoy went to the transporter pad, where Spock already stood, waiting. 

Scotty turned to Kyle. “Ye know exactly what to do now?”

“Yes, sir,” Kyle replied firmly.

Scotty nodded. “Good lad.”  He hurried to the pad and looked back at Kyle.  “Energize.”

“Good lucks, sirs,” Kyle said, and pushed the switches.

The familiar tingle of the transporter began to prickle up their backs and McCoy stared at Kirk. “My god, Jim, I don’t think I can do this!”

The transporter beam sparkled around them, its hum filling their ears and as Kyle watched, the four men shimmered, and were gone.


	5. Chapter 5

It was normal at first, the feeling of transportation, but then it changed.  The soft tingle turned to barbs, jabbing their skin like needles.  Colors swam in front of their eyes and all feeling of solidity vanished until it felt like they were falling through a silent empty void.

Then then the humming returned, the tingle became a buzz and their feet hit the floor.  A transporter room materialized around them and their vison cleared.

The surprised transporter operator stared at the four men that had beamed in without him doing a thing.  Kirk drew the phaser from his belt.  “Don’t move, mister.”

“Captain?” the man asked. “Mr. Spock?  But-.”

Scotty hurried off the pad and went to the transporter controls.  The operator frowned. “I don’t think-.”

He never finished, falling unconscious to the ground as Spock delivered the Vulcan nerve pinch.  Kirk turned to McCoy, who was still standing tensely on the transporter pad.  The captain stepped back up to him. “Come on, Bones.”

“I can’t do this, Jim,” McCoy said.  “I can’t go and…”

“You can and you will,” Kirk said determinedly, taking his arm. “Come on, we don’t have much time.”  They stepped off the pad. “Mr. Scott, what do you need to do?”

“Just give me a while with these controls,” Scotty said. “And I may have to find an access tube and rewire some things, but I should be able to get her ready before long.”

“Contact us when you’re ready,” Kirk said.  “Spock, come with us.”

The three men left the transporter room and began making their way through the Enterprise.  Already the ship felt different, colder and fouler than their own Enterprise.

“Our uniforms have differences,” Spock noted as they walked along.

Kirk cast a glance around. “Yes.  We should have thought of that…”

“I do not think this crew notices,” Spock replied.

“One look at us and they don’t care what we’re wearing, just who we are,” Kirk muttered.  “Their villainous captain and cold-blooded first officer aren’t going to be asked questions.”  He glanced at Spock. “Even if you are missing your beard.”

“Your counterpart,” Spock said thoughtfully. “Should we run into him or the mirror Doctor McCoy, it would be fatal to our mission.”

“I shouldn’t wonder that I’m on the bridge,” Kirk said. “And Doctor McCoy is probably in sickbay.  I say we find your cabin, Mr. Spock, and wait for your counterpart there.”

“Agreed,” Spock answered.  “If the Enterprise layout is the same, we will arrive shortly.”

Suddenly McCoy groaned, and Kirk turned to see his friend stumble and lean heavily against the wall.

“McCoy,” Kirk said.  “Are you alright?”

McCoy groaned again, pressing his hand to his head and wincing in pain. “I- I can feel him…”

“Captain,” Spock said, “The crew is starting to take notice of us.”

Kirk saw that the Vulcan was right.  They needed to keep moving.  He slung McCoy’s arm over his shoulder. “Come on, let’s go.”

A few moments later they reached the door to Spock’s quarters.  McCoy was mumbling incoherently, and as Spock opened the door, the doctor sighed and went limp.

“Spock!” Kirk said, and the captain and Vulcan carried McCoy into the room, laying him on the bed.

“Now we wait, I guess,” the captain said, sitting in a chair.  The room eerily reflected Spock’s room on their Enterprise and Kirk tapped his fingers against his leg, uneasy and uncomfortable.  Spock took a seat as well, legs crossed and alert.

Not an hour had gone by when the doors whooshed open, and both Kirk and Spock both rose swiftly to their feet.

The Spock who entered frowned slightly.  “Captain?”  Then his eyes found the other Spock and he raised an eyebrow.  “Ah, indeed. You are not my captain.”

Kirk shook his head. “No I am not.”

“What brings you back to this universe?” asked the mirror Spock.  “And how did you manage it?”

“By replicating the ion storm elements,” Spock answered.

The mirror Spock nodded. “I see.  A difficult task.”

“A nearly impossible one,” Spock said.

“But that has not yet answered the question of why you are here,” The mirror Spock said, turning again to Kirk.

“It’s because of something you did,” Kirk said, unsure of how to broach the subject.  “Your mind meld on Doctor McCoy, it… Well Spock, our universe’s Spock, says that it has damaged him.”

The mirror Spock clasped his hands behind his back.  “Yes, I am afraid I intruded upon him more deeply than was necessary.”

“Can you help him?” Kirk asked, not daring to let hope enter his voice.

“I can try,” the mirror Spock answered, and he stepped toward the bed.

Just then McCoy groaned and sat up slowly, holding his head.  “Jim?   Spock?” he grunted, “What-?”

He broke off, unmoving, staring at the mirror Spock that stood before him.  Kirk carefully moved to his side.  “Doctor?”

McCoy didn’t respond and Kirk saw this was not the angry, skittish fear the doctor had displayed before, but a frozen panic.

“Bones,” Kirk said, “this is our only chance!”

McCoy slowly shook his head.

“Bones!” Kirk said forcefully, taking his arm.  “You’re doctor- you know this has to be done!”

McCoy gritted his teeth and, after a moment, nodded.  “Y-yes,” he choked out, “I know.”

Kirk helped him to a chair and the mirror Spock sat down across from the doctor.

“I will do what I can,” he said, “but you must not resist.”

“Sort of hard, at the moment,” McCoy gasped, but he only drew back a little when the mirror Spock reached out and pressed his fingertips to the doctor’s face.

Kirk glanced over at Spock.  The Vulcan’s shoulders were tense and his gaze was fixed firmly on his counterpart and McCoy.

The mirror Spock narrowed his eyes.  “We are connected, Doctor…  Let me in.”

McCoy drew in a deep breath and Kirk gripped his shoulders.  The doctor stared directly into the mirror Spock’s eyes and suddenly he gasped. 

“Help me get him on the table,” he murmured.

“What?” Kirk asked softly.

“Well come on!” McCoy said, “Help me get him on the tale! He’ll die without immediate treatment!”

Kirk suddenly realized what happening.  “He’s reliving the minutes before the mind meld,” the captain whispered to Spock.  “I was there…”

_*To*Boldly*Go*_

“Let’s go Bones,” said Kirk.

McCoy looked up from the mirror Spock, who lay unconscious on the table.  “I can’t let him die, Jim.  You get on to the transporter room.  I’ll be there in five minutes.”

Kirk hesitated, looking from Spock to the doctor.  “No longer,” he finally said.

McCoy nodded. “I guarantee it.  No, go on, please.”

Kirk nodded and turned, exiting the room with Scotty and Uhura and leaving McCoy and the mirror Spock alone in sickbay.

McCoy glanced up at the readings.  To his satisfaction, Spock’s vital functions were returning to normal.

 _‘Normal for a Vulcan, anyway,’_ the doctor thought.  _‘And I see no reason why a parallel Spock should be too different from ours.’_

He picked up his hypo and injected the medicine into the mirror Spock’s arm.  Another look at the monitor told him the Vulcan was going to be fine.  _‘I’d better get to the transporter.  Jim will be-.’_

His thoughts were cut off as he was aware of Spock sitting up.  McCoy turned but, before he could move further, Spock’s fingers wrapped around his wrist.  McCoy looked into those cold eyes and felt a stab of fear race through him.

“Why did the captain let me live?” Spock asked.

McCoy didn’t answer.  His vocal cords were frozen, and what was he supposed to say anyway?  ‘He didn’t kill you because he’s not your captain.  And, also, I’m not your doctor’?

Spock slid off the bed, still gripping McCoy’s arm.  The doctor took an involuntary step backwards.  Spock followed and McCoy found himself pushed against a wall, unable to move.  His heart racing, he stared at Spock.

The Vulcan raised his hand and pressed his fingertips firmly to the side of McCoy’s face,

“Our minds are merging, Doctor,” said Spock.  “Our minds are one.”

McCoy steeled himself, but he couldn’t shut out the Vulcan mind meld or Spock’s low voice.

“I feel what you feel,” Spock continued, “I know what you know.”

McCoy struggled to keep his mind his own, but suddenly he was seeing things he had never experienced.

Worlds, familiar but different, strange customs and ways.  The Empire and its tyrannical decree. The surge of images and knowledge rapidly overwhelmed him, and then he felt Spock.  He was searching, looking for information. McCoy resisted, but the Vulcan’s mind was stronger.  Pain ripped through him and he cried out in agony, and then he was lost in it all.

_“Doctor.”_

McCoy cringed.  It was the voice of Spock, but not his Spock.

“I don’t want you in my head!” he cried. “Get out!”

 _“I am attempting to do just that,”_ Spock replied.  _“But I need your cooperation.”_

“I do not want to cooperate with you!  I want to get back to my universe!”

_“You have been back, Doctor.  Your captain brought you to this universe again so I may fix your mind.”_

“I don’t understand.  I don’t remember-.”

_“You will not remember anything if you do not help me.  Open up your mind to me.”_

McCoy shuddered.  “I can’t trust you….”  But some part of his mind told him the mirror Spock was not lying.  And he was already so tired… What more could happen to him?  He let himself go, and there was a rush of feeling, of another being connecting with him.

Everything around him grew fuzzy, he heard Jim’s voice call out, and then the world went dark.

_*To*Boldly*Go*_

“What are you doing?” Kirk demanded. “Is it working?”

Spock placed his hand on the captain’s arm.  “Do not disturb him,” the Vulcan said.  “This meld runs deep. Should it be broken, both would die.”

Kirk stepped back, concern lining his features.  McCoy and the mirror Spock had been silent for nearly an hour now.  They had briefly spoken, almost argued, in which McCoy had recoiled, but Spock had persisted and kept the link between them tethered.  Now, both were still, unmoving but for their mouths, which sometimes shaped words Kirk couldn’t hear.

The captain’s communicator flashed and Kirk flipped it open. “Yes, Scotty?”

“I’ve got the transporter hooked up and the settings laid in.  We can leave any time, the sooner the better.”

“We don’t know how much longer we’ll have to stay here,” Kirk answered.

“Is everything alright, Captain?”

“I’m not sure,” Kirk replied, fearful of his own words. “Come to Spock’s room.  You’ll be safer.”

“Aye, aye, sir,” said the engineer. “Scott out.”

Kirk put away his communicator.  “How much longer is this going to take?” he muttered.  “We can’t risk being here too long.”

A few moments later the mirror Spock drew in a deep breath and broke away from McCoy, staggering back to sit in a chair.  Kirk moved forward. “Did it work?”

“Time will tell,” the mirror Spock answered in a weary tone.  “I have done all I can.”

Kirk turned to Spock, who was bent over McCoy. “How is he?”

“Alive,” Spock answered. “I cannot say more until he wakes.”

Kirk sighed, frustrated.  “I wish we knew more…”

Just then Scotty rushed in. “Ye’d better hurry, sir! On the way here I heard a crewman saying Captain Kirk’s beaming down to a planet! If our coordinates are changed, it’ll take me three hours to reset!”

“We’ve got to go now,” Kirk said.  “Spock, help me with McCoy.”

He reached for his friend but Spock simply picked up the doctor.  The mirror Spock opened the door.  “Hurry,” he said. “I will stall my captain.”

Scotty rushed out, and Spock followed with McCoy.  Kirk paused at the door. “Thank you, Mr. Spock.”

“I should inform you,” the mirror Spock said, “that this is one of the last times my captain will beam anywhere.”

“Oh?” Kirk asked.

“The Empire will crumble,” Spock said, “Crumble to the bones upon which it stands, and I will be the one to start the fall.”

Kirk smiled. “I am very glad to hear that.  Good luck, Mr. Spock.”

The mirror Vulcan nodded and Kirk left, running down the hall to catch up with the others.  They reached the transporter room and entered to find it empty.  Spock lay McCoy on the pad and Scotty rushed to the controls, tweaking a few settings.

“She’ll transport in thirty seconds, Captain!” the engineer said.  He pushed the switches and hurried to join his crewmates.

As the transporter hum rose in pitch, the doors opened and mirror Kirk, Spock and McCoy walked in.

“What the-?” growled mirror Kirk, pulling out his phaser, but it was too late.  The transporter beam shimmered around them and the last thing Kirk saw was the satisfied look on the mirror Spock’s face.

Then the beam whisked them away.


	6. Chapter 6

Kirk slowly opened his eyes to see the sickbay ceiling.  “We made it back,” he sighed, looking around.  In the bed next to him, Scotty was snoring and across the room lay McCoy.  Spock was nowhere in sight.

“Spock?” Kirk called, and Chapel came out of the back room, a smile on her face.

“He’s on the bridge, sir,” she said.  “He woke up not long after you arrived back on board.”

“How long have I been out?” Kirk asked, pushing back the blanket and stretching his arms.

“Three and a half hours,” Chapel replied.

“Three and a half hours?”  Scotty sat up.  “Three and a half hours of wasted time!”

“Work can wait a bit, Scotty,” Kirk said with a grin.

Scotty hopped off the bed. “Aye, sir, it can wait, but why let it? I’d rather be workin’ than sleepin’ on my backside! Am I certified to go, Nurse?”

“You’re perfectly healthy, Mr. Scott,” Chapel said.

Scotty smiled and started across the room.  Then he paused. “Oh, Captain…  Did it work? Did we help Doctor McCoy?”

Kirk looked at Chapel and she looked back, silent.  “I’ll tell you when I know the details, Scotty,” Kirk said.  Scotty nodded and left the room.  Kirk turned to Chapel.  “What can you tell me?”

Chapel shook her head. “Not much.  I can’t tell if anything’s changed. Most of it was mental and I can’t say for sure if he’s improved or not.”

Kirk sighed. “Well… Tell me when you do know.”

Chapel nodded. “Yes, sir…”

Kirk went to McCoy’s bed and gripped his friend’s hand.  Then he left the sickbay.  Chapel cast an anxious look at the doctor and then she vanished into the back room.

_*To*Boldly*Go*_

Gray fuzz.  That’s all he could see or feel.  There was greenish glow, like the sickbay walls…  His mouth felt like it was filled with cotton balls as he tried to speak.

“…Nurse…?”

He vaguely heard the sound of footsteps and a hand touched his face, but his entire body felt numb.

“Doctor?  Can you hear me?”

Chapel.  He wanted tell her he was alright, but he couldn’t say another word.  What was wrong with him?  His thoughts stuck together like they were covered in glue.  Each movement was like walking through a sea of molasses.  At least there was no pain.  No pain at last.

“McCoy?  Bones, can you talk?”

Jim.  Jim was there.  He could see clearer now, and hear better too.  Jim was holding his hand and he tried very hard and managed to move his fingers in the captain’s palm.

Kirk smiled in relief.  “Are you back with us, Bones?”

His vison was clearing now.  He blinked, and a bearded face flickered in his sight.

_“Goodbye, Doctor.”_

“Goodbye,” McCoy breathed.  “Thank you.”

“What, Bones?” Kirk asked.

His vision was nearly clear and McCoy carefully turned his head.  Spock was hovering by the door.  His Spock.  Though he still felt tired and his body was heavy, McCoy could almost talk now.

“What are you loitering by the door for, you green blooded Vulcan?” the doctor managed.  “Don’t you want to give me a proper welcome back?”

Spock came over to the bed and raised an eyebrow.  “Really, Doctor.  You were never gone.”

Kirk grinned. “I think we can safely say the Doctor is returning to his usual illogical self.”

Spock nodded and McCoy smiled. 

“Yes.  And glad I am to be myself,” the doctor sighed. “Very very glad.”

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to leave a comment! I'd appreciate your thoughts :)


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